Narcissist
- is derived from ancient Greek mythology, as narrated in
the story of Narcissus, a boy who unknowingly falls in love with his own
mirrored reflection in a pond. So mesmerized by a reflection of himself,
so infatuated by the love of a false-self, and unable to comprehend that
the other person did not truly exist, that he eventually drowned himself
. . . self-love on steroids!
Narcissism
- is essentially, good old-fashioned self-love. A trait which
everybody has to some degree, as healthy amounts of self-love is linked
to positive self- worth and self-esteem.
Narcissistic
- refers to behavioural traits, some of which can be
maladaptive or even toxic, these behavioural quirks are often rooted
in poor self-worth and self-esteem issues.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(NPD) On the other hand, is a
full-blown diagnosable pathology, which is characterized by a false- self,
a lack of emotional empathy. Despite the impression of confidence these
individuals might project, NPD is correlated with poor self-worth and
poor self-esteem.
Trait characteristics of individuals with Narcissistic
Personality Disorder
(NPD) Can be either male or female – as well
as everyone and everything else in between. As with all forms of
narcissism, it occurs on a sliding scale – typically from bad to worse. The
common garden variety of narcissist is extroverted and overtly obnoxious.
The more introverted narcissist, the more covert by nature, making them
very hard to detect. A largely egocentric personality, they display
self-righteous and arrogant behaviours, showing a blatant disregard for
others or future consequences. Deep down they crave money, power,
control, attention and respect: they are quite adept at attaining it - albeit,
always at the expense of others. Often this is accompted with an apparent
absence of basic emotional empathy, reliant on blame-shifting and zero
accountability instead.
Narcissists possess no real grounded sense of true-self; they navigate life
via a game of smoke and mirrors. From a young age, they learn to mimic
and mirror the positive traits, behaviours and attributes of others, to
appear normal and blend in – and after all, nothing makes you appear
more normal, than associating yourself with normal people.
To compensate high levels of anxiety or low levels of self-worth. They’ll
create a false-self or mask, which is omnipotent and flawlessly perfect.
All their anger or inner turmoil will be projected externally, in order to
protect and maintain the fragile false façade. Thus, they can cloak their
own shortcomings and can remain largely undetected in the eyes of others.
Individuals with NPD, in an attempt to bolster their own self-worth, will
seek to erode or destroy their targets of abuse. As a protection defence in
response to any perceived threat, reputational damage to their own ego
or exposing the insanity behind the false façade – they can be
extremely dangerous!
In relationships they target individuals high in the traits, that they
themselves lack. Complex post-traumatic stress is common among the
survivors of narcissistic relationship abuse, as are high levels of cognitive
dissonance and Stockholm syndrome. Without a full understanding
of the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, survivors can often fall prey to the
same dynamics repeatedly, similar abuse perpetuated within a future
relationship, by another mask wearing individual.
Narcissists will perfectly mirror your kindness and empathy back to
yourself, meanwhile, you’ll find some warmth in their cold hearts, you’ll
see yourself as a reflection in their eyes. Remaining oblivious to the
illusion . . .. Clever folk them ancient Greeks!
Where art meets psychology.
What is a Narcissist?
These terms can, and are often used interchangeably with NPD abuse.