To Grin and Bear
Best
of
luck
with
that
.
.
.
just
kidding!
If
you’ve
ever
questioned
where
does
time
goes?
And
found
a
satisfactory
answer,
please
do
inform
me
-
as
it
was
there
one
minute,
and
gone
the
next!
For
many
of
those
who
have
suffered
relationship
abuse,
reminiscing
on
a
past
abusive
period
in
their
lives,
is
a
self-destructive
process.
Although
several
years
may
have
slipped
by,
without
any
signs
or
signals
that
your
ideal
soul
mate
was
indeed
a
toxic
abuser,
hell
bent
on
your
ultimate
destruction.
Its
best
to
stay
focused
in
on
an
unknown
future,
then
it
is
to
live
a
life
with
past
regret.
The
future
might
well
be
filled
with
dreed
right
now
-
but
this
will
pass,
and
after
all, looking back is never the way forward.
You
have
the
ability
to
time
travel
into
any
moment
in
time,
past,
present
or
future.
So,
pick
a
happy
place
where
as
a
child
and
you
could
stare
for
hours
looking
up
at
the
sky,
a
timeless
dimension
where
everything
was
filled
with
a
sense
of
awe
and
wonder,
sitting
in
the
long
grass,
asking
yourself
those
deep
philosophical
questions,
like - I wonder what does an earthworm taste like? Yuck! if don’t happen to know!
Irrespective
of
any
unhappy
aspects
to
your
own
childhood,
still
lurking
in
the
cushions
of
your
brain
.
.
.
find
that
happy
space
once
again,
stay
in
that
happy
headspace
and
learn
to
relax.
The
past
cannot
be
changed,
and
the
future
is
yet
to
happen
-
so,
learn
to
embrace
the
now.
Grab
yourself
as
much
of
the
now
as
you
possibly can, filling it by doing all the things you love to do, but never really took the time.
As
life
is
a
journey,
and
not
a
race!
Learn
to
rest
your
body
and
mind,
letting
yourself
be
guided
by
whatever
grabs
your
attention,
rekindled
past
interests,
reading,
writing,
painting,
swimming,
walking,
cycling,
alpine
yodelling
-
whatever!
While
you
might
be
in
a
somewhat
darker
place
right
now,
note
that
your
abuser
was
attracted
by
your
light.
Like
a
moth
to
a
flame,
your
light
was
the
prized
target,
the
light
the
abuser
sought
to
extinguish.
Without
light,
only
darkness
exists,
and
you
were
the
light
that
radiated
and
illuminate
the
relationship,
and
when
life
throws
you
a
curveball
and
you
need
self-healing,
then
it’s
necessary
to
shine
this
light
inward and increase its intensity.
But
stay
with
the
darkness
for
now,
and
enter
into
it,
in
the
dark
you
will
find
the
light.
Perhaps
you’ll
discover
your
new
future
by
realizing
in
your
time
travels
back
into
childhood,
that
you’ve
succumbed
to
the
opinions
of
people
who
really
hadn’t
your
best
interest
at
heart,
but
they
were
motivated
by
a
jealousy
and
envy,
always
willing
to
put
you
down.
Perhaps
convincing
you
that
were
never
good
enough.
Everyone
no
matter
who,
has
amazing
talents
suppressed
and
hidden
away.
As
a
child
you
were
an
invincible
and
fearless
force,
you
could
dance
you
could
sing
and
do
all
kinds
of
weird
stuff.
You
were
artistic,
energetic,
innovative,
creative,
confident
and witty.
Staying
a
child
at
heart
is
always
helpful,
and
if
you
look
hard
enough
you
will
find
them
talents
still
hidden
away.
If
you
replace
the
word
I
can’t,
with
the
words
fuck-
it
I’ll
try!
You
will
to
use
these
talents
again
and
now
maybe
the
world
also
could
benefit
from
those
talents
that
you’ve
kept
stashed
and
hidden
away.
Individuality
is
what
makes
us
individuals,
while
abusers
will
always
be
cut
from
the
same
cloth,
so,
go
shopping
next
time
for
a
new
fabric,
and
choose
yourself
a
different
cloth,
from
which
you
wish
to
be
cut.
Recognizing
that
your
own
uniqueness,
individuality
and
positive
attributes
are
what
makes
you,
You!
And
leave
behind
a
life
of
conformity,
a
life
spent
appeasing
others
to
the
detriment
of
yourself.
Learn
to
stand
up
and
speak
out
and
find
that
suppressed
inner
voice
once
more.
Any
past
pain
or
hurt
can
be
let
go
of,
as
it
no
longer
serves
you,
moving
forward.
While
your
abuser
might
never
have
been
real
or
true
to
you
or
themselves,
just
a
toxic
abuser
wearing
a
mask,
do
realize
that
the
love
you
felt
and
thought
was
real-
was
real.
Love
stems
from
inside
of
you
and
radiates
outward,
and
it’s
funny
how
we
can
spend
a
lifetime
searching externally, for what lies deep within.
Trusted
friends
can
be
of
great
help,
but
learning
which
ones
you
can
trust
is
another
matter.
Relearning
the
ability
to
attune
to
your
intuitions
and
gut
feelings
again
will
help,
that
small
inner
voice
or
queasy
feeling
that
helps
guide
and
protect
you.
Only
trust
yourself
with
the
power
and
ability,
to
trust
others.
Your
abuser
might
well be smearing your name, but use this to your advantage by also not caring what others may think.
Those
that
are
on
your
side
will
know
and
trust
you,
and
those
that
aren’t,
you
can
leave
them
behind,
as
they
are
well
aligned
with
the
abuser
and
are
of
no
real
help
to
you
in
the
present
or
in
the
future.
Never
attempt
to
fight
evil
with
more,
evil
-
as
it
will
only
serve
to
turn
you
into
the
same
monster,
in
which
you
seek
to
defeat.
Cut
off
all
lines
of
communication
with
your
abuser,
as
you
are
only
yielding
them
extra
power.
If
you
do
have
to
communicate
with
your
abuser
i.e.,
shared
children,
business
or
property,
make
all
your
conversations
boring
and
uninteresting
as
possible,
free
from
any
reactive
emotions
–
as
you
will
starve
them
of
any
fuel,
they
can
gain by causing a reaction and getting under your skin.
You
can
also
kinda
play
them
at
their
own
game
whilst
remaining
light
side
up,
as
any
spoken
requests
from
your
abuser
-
you
can
ask
them
to
put
it
in
writing
as
you
are
very
prone
to
forgetting
and
send
their
request
on
to
you
via
email.
If
they
are
smart
(but
they
often
are
not)
They’ll
baulk
at
this
concept,
but
as
they
are
probably
dumb,
they
might
well
comply
-
you’ll
have
yourself
a
digital
record
should
the
shit
ever
hit
the
fan,
this
will
prove
very
helpful
in
any
legal
battles
or
disputes.
Keep
all
important documentation off site and backed up multiple times.
Do
not
put
yourself
in
any
danger
and
if
you
need
to
phone
the
police
for
assistance,
please
do!
Always
remember
to
look
after
your
health
as
if
your
life
depends
on
it,
fluctuations
between
insomnia
and
narcolepsy
are
a
given,
often
induced
by
high
levels
of
stress.
Just
to
compound
your
insomnia
further,
tinnitus
can
be
a
result
of
excessive
levels
of
stress,
causing
a
ringing
of
the
brain
and
even
more
stress
that
ensures
from
sleep
deprivation.
Listening
to
binaural
beets
might
help,
they
use
a
four
hertz
frequency
difference
which
fluctuates
between
both
ears
drums
and
might
help
cancel
out
some
irritating
tones.
To
find
the
correct
tone
you
can
use
a
frequency generator app for your phone . . . all of which can all be found online.
The
healing
process
can
take
some
time,
so
be
patient
and
don’t
try
rush
the
process.
Least
you
risk
finding
yourself
in
a
similar
situation
again,
where
the
avatar
has
changed
but
the
new
person
remains
the
exact
same
-
take
the
time
to
remain
single
again,
and
to
enjoy
life,
learn
to
embrace
the
silence
and
find
an
inner
peace,
by
finding yourself once more.
In
the
immediate
aftermath
of
a
breakup,
your
abuser
may
well
enter
into
another
relationship
strait
away,
and
they
might
seem
from
the
outset
to
be
happy
again.
But
you’ll
also
know
happiness
is
not
in
them,
and
this
is
just
a
facade.
Likewise
the
new
partner
will
also
endure
that
same
level
of
abuse
as
you
once
did.
It
might
also
take some time for you to realize and come to the conclusion that, they lost the best thing that they ever had, and that thing was you!
Getting
the
abuser
out
of
your
head
is
an
important
first
step.
Compartmentalization
might
help
-
it
involves
you
picturing
your
abuser
in
your
mind’s
eye,
then
viewing
your
mind
as
a
massive
bank
vault
.
.
.
open
a
safety
deposit
box
around
half
the
size,
shape
and
general
dimensions
as
your
abuser
-
and
stuff
them
inside,
ensuring
the
box
is
well
locked,
before
breaking
the
key.
If
you
are
still
thinking
about
your
abuser,
imagine
drinking
milk
strait
from
the
carton,
only
its
well
out
of
date,
congealed
in
lumps
and
sour
–
stomach
churning
stuff!
Visually
form
a
mental
compartment
for
this
in
your
mind,
then
add
your
abuser
into
this
mental
category.
Focusing
solely
on
yourself
and
moving
forward
in
life
once
again.
Learning
as
much
about
yourself
will
also
be
beneficial,
plenty
of
personality
tests
are
available
online
for
free,
without
having
to
divulge
any
personal
information.
Education
is
key
to
understanding
abuse
and
by
learning
about
your
abuse,
but
also
your
abuser,
you’ll
gain
to
ability
to
help
others,
who
might
also
happen
to
find
themselves
in
a
similar
situation.
The
internet
can
be
an
excellent
source
of
information,
although
information
alone
differs
from
wisdom
and
knowledge.
There
are
some
helpful
websites,
podcasts,
blogs
and
YouTube
channels
by
individuals
well
versed
on
the
dynamics of narcissistic and psychopathic abuse.
People
whom
have
lived
the
dream
and
suffered
at
the
hands
of
a
predator,
those
that
have
dedicated
their
lives
to
helping
others
overcome
abuse
by
sharing
their
own
experiences,
their
inner
wisdom
and
their
extensive
knowledge.
Perhaps
someday
in
the
far
distant
future,
you’ll
look
back
at
the
past
without
any
regret
-
with
fresh
eyes
from
a
renewed
perspective.
You’ll
learn
to
smile
once
more,
realizing
that
maybe
our
lives,
somehow
come
pre-planned.
As
the
abuse
that
you’ve
endured,
also
changes
your
outlook
and
forces
you
to
tear
down
some
of
the
walls,
that
you
have
unknowingly
built
around
yourself.
To
bring
forth
the
real
you,
only
now
a
stronger
version of your old-self, a far more confident and far more outgoing version of you.
So,
perhaps
in
some
whacky
but
fundamental
way,
your
abuser
was
actually
your
best
friend
-
as
their
futile
attempts
to
destroy
you
only
made
you
stronger.
Serving
as
the
catalyst
for
your
inner
self-growth
and
setting
the
stage
for
your
own
voyage
of
self-rediscovery.
Thereby
transforming
you
into
the
very
person,
that
you
were
always destined to become.
I
hope
all
this
information
helps
you
in
some
way.
If
you
do
find
this
useful
bookmark
the
page,
and
if
you
think
this
could
benefit
someone
you
know
by
all
means
feel
free to share, also feel free to print - although it might consume a small forest due to its total length.
Stay safe.
Mike.
Where art meets psychology.
Healing from a toxic and abusive relationship.
Where art meets psychology.